I wonder what will happen to me in the future. I don't mean
during college or anything like that. I mean like really far into the future,
like after I've finished college. I really want to know if I will have a job
that I want to do, not just some job I have just because I need it or anything.
Will I be married? To whom? Will it be my first love? Second? Third? What will
really happen to me?
It really bothers me how foggy and distant my real adult
life is even though it's right around the corner. It's not really because I'm
scared or anything about what will happen, it just worries me how uncertain
things could be. For all I know I could die before I even get to do the things
most people do. I could be rich, or poor, or just comfortably in the middle. I
just want to see how my life turns out, maybe look through a crystal ball or
something. To see if there's anything I might have to prepare for.
Hell I don't even know if I'll be able to get into a good
college. What I want is to still be here
in the Bay Area. I don't really want to live in a big city. The only problem is
that if I do get married and if I have children, what are my kids going to do
here? There's nothing much to do in Alameda anyways. Maybe global warming will
put the Bay Area underwater. I don't know.