[Free] Thoughts #1

You know I thought that maybe this year would be different. Different from all the other years before. Something special, out of the ordinary compared to freshman, sophomore, and junior year, as a senior. In the years preceding my final year at Alameda High, there was always something that went wrong. This year is no better. When I was an underclassman, I didn't feel very close to people. Like I would see people talking and smiling and shit. I thought maybe it would be different senior year and I vowed to myself that I would try harder to be more sociable.

That didn't do anything... I seriously tried to be more talkative and more friendly- or I hope I did. That was a big waste of my time because some of my friends have been kind of distant from me. I hate how I try and try and try to at least talk to someone but then they like totally ignore me. It's like I'm the only one trying to make friendly conversation, but it's like I'm talking to a block of stone. Maybe I'm wrong, and I'm just boring to that person. Maybe that's why. I don't know though, I remember when this person and I talked, and they seemed to actually try to carry the conversation. Now it's just like whenever I talk to them, they just kind of end the conversation with like "Uh-huh" and "Yes" and "No". It seems like some of the friends I used to talk to moderately, or a lot suddenly just stopped talking to me, block all types of communications with me, and generally just tries to avoid me unless they need something. Why do people have to be like this, ending the friendship, which might not have existed, and not even telling me why or what I did? It just kind of hurts you know? 

[CE] BART

     I hate how the people can be so unhappy. The police are supposed to protect us, the citizens,  and they do, but I hate how some people can blame the police officers for one incident. It's like the police protect us for ten years without any major incident, some officers will get killed doing their duty, but one mistake and all these people swoop in and start complaining. I understand that killing someone isn't just "an incident", but I mean the details are sketchy and we all know that you should never trust humans, because "In the end, we're all human, and you can get two people who see the same event differently." The police officer who shot Oscar Grant might have shot him on purpose, or maybe it was an accident. Maybe Oscar Grant didn't do anything to provoke the officer, or maybe he did. It just seems kind of stupid to push something so far that we need to add more measures to make sure the facts are straight.

     The problem is if the BART police start wearing video cameras, there will still be all these problems. We are in a deficit  right now. How can we afford to buy cameras for all these officers? Another issue would be that people would probably come out and start complaining about how the police officers are "videotaping them without their consent", or "it's an invasion of my privacy". People will always find something to complain about. I don't think the video cameras would solve anything at all.

[RE] To myself- My Life, My Future

     This is a response to my own post, and yes it is an essay I wrote for Current Life. I used to have some sort of idea of what I wanted to do with my life. What I wanted to be, where I would see myself. I don't really see my future as clearly as I'd like to though. Even though I wrote this essay less than a year ago, my interests changed way too fast.  There are still some things that I would still like to do, like get into a good college- college of my choice and I'm not sure about whether or not I would live in a city, I don't think that I'm the kind of person to feel comfortable around so many people and noises. I do know for a fact that making enough money is important to me, enough money to pay off expenses, but also have extra for my own personal use.

     My goals...my stupid ass goals. I don't think I have even achieved one of them. I still procrastinate so much in addition to senioritis. I haven't even been trying to work harder at anything at all. My grades are shitty as hell and I'm probably going to get bad grades. The funny thing is I was never really bothered by grades like other people. However, now that I'm a senior and all this crap has been piled on me, all the information and stuff telling me what I need to do and what is recommended I do has gotten me so god damn frustrated. I know I'm not going to get into a good college compared to all my other friends since all of them were already and stressing over grades all four years of high school. I just feel like shit when I think of all the wasted time I didn't spend wisely. It just really makes me frustrated and all I want to do is beat the shit out of something sometimes. It just makes me so god damn sad. -Sigh-

[BI] UC Prompt 2

     The place I come from, I don’t really like to talk about. I was born in Alameda, CA. Middle class family, lived in a nice neighborhood. I had everything, or almost everything I wanted, kind of a spoiled life if you ask me. I got most of what I asked for, always had money to spare. My life was pretty much the life of a normal teenager: Go to school, do homework, eat, and sleep. I started to notice that my family seemed very different when compared to other families. Every Saturday, I go to lunch with my grandpa and my aunt. After lunch, my sister, my dad and I go to my grandpa’s house. At my grandpa’s house, my sister and I usually go into separate rooms and just go on the computer while my dad watches T.V. When my grandpa comes home, he usually watches his movies, so none of us are really talking to each other. This continues on until dinnertime when we all pile into the car and have dinner. Throughout the entire meal, before, and after, I noticed that no one really talks at all. If someone does talk, it’s either my dad arguing with my grandpa over something, or my aunt arguing with one of them. 
     The way my family interacts with each other, or rather the way we don’t interact with each other impacts me a lot in my opinion. It affects my grades, my social life, basically anything and everything that has to do with being social. I grew up with a pretty quiet family, meaning I usually kept to myself unless one of my family members addressed me directly. Seventeen years of keeping to myself had a big impact on me. I am not very used to talking very much, or even putting out my thoughts and feelings, which means that I'm unable to carry a conversation very well. I fear having conversations with almost everyone, fear of boring them so I try not to initiate any sort of conversation.
     My family hasn't really affected my dreams or my aspirations very much since we never really talk with each other so I never really had any real dreams or aspirations. My parents and I never talked about college, what college I wanted to attend. I don't know what I what kind of career I might want to pursue, I don't even know if I want to follow in the footsteps of one of my parents. All I know is that my dad is some kind of engineer and my mom is a dentist.  All I was worried about was getting through the day. My one goal is so general, it could be anyone's. It is just to get a job that provides me with enough to get by and also to have luxury items and start a family. This is really the only dream I have at this point. Nothing complicated, nothing spectacularly planned. All I really want is a family, with a woman I love, and just spend my days living as happily as I can.

[CE] PG&E Explosion (oops saved as draft)

"San Mateo County judge ruled Thursday that a group of lawsuits against Pacific Gas and Electric Co. over the San Bruno natural gas explosion will go to trial next year and serve as a model for resolving dozens of others filed by plaintiffs who were injured or lost homes, possessions or loved ones."-Jaxon Van Derbeken

     I don't think that these people should sue PG&E for the natural gas explosion that happened sometime around a year ago on September 9th, 2010, but I do think that PG&E should give the people compensation according to the damage done. I see no point in both parties wasting the time, effort, money, and any other resources on going to trial with this, unless the only way these people are able to get compensation is by suing.

     I don't see how PG&E would have known that those pipelines would explode. I mean humans are humans, and all humans make mistakes and screw up things. I don't really remember what happened after the explosions, like what investigations went on and things like that so I'm writing based on memory. Why would they have done an investigation into whether or not the people at PG&E inspected the pipes? If you were living around there, should you not be aware of such things and report it, and if the people living there did and PG&E did nothing, then of course it is their fault. So far, all I have been hearing is all these people whining about how the things from PG&E are "unsafe". I hate how one accident, a minor accident, killing only eight people, in so many years, and people are already saying that PG&E is dangerous or some bullshit like that.

[Free] My Life, My Future

 I have to admit I haven’t really thought about anything beyond the present. Never actually put any effort into doing much or figuring out what I want to be when I grow up and what colleges I might attend. That’s probably why I’m so far behind everyone else and how I don’t really care about my grades. But doing this project has helped me a bit to see what I might want to do in the future and what it will take to get there. In ten years I hope to have gotten into a good college, graduated with good grades, have a decent enough job to support myself and to basically be self-supporting. I still don’t know what I might be doing for work, I might try and get a job where I can just study things. I’m not sure about getting married since I don’t know if I would be able to achieve all of these goals, but I would probably be married with maybe a child. In terms of where I would live, I like the convenience of living in the city, everything basically within a block, but it is also expensive and loud. I would prefer to live in the countryside most likely still be living in Alameda away from the worst of the pollution. I might just inherit my family’s house and just continue living in it. As I said before I do not know what my lifestyle would be like and money is important, but depending on the job I can acquire, that will be the amount I make.

           

            Well I’ve recently noticed that history is a pretty easy subject for me. I find history fascinating. I like reading about it in articles, magazines, the internet, books, movies, videos, presentations, lectures. I just find that the information that we have gotten throughout the years about how we used to live, and interact and things humans used to do that influence us even in the modern world. I have looked a bit and I do have a certain interest in becoming a cultural anthropologist. Science is another subject that I have an interest in, more chemistry than physics since physics is confusing and until I figure it out I’m going to try to find a job that doesn’t really include that. I like to do hands on things instead of being in a classroom because being in a classroom is so boring, sitting there staring at a board. I’d just rather go outside or somewhere where I can actually do experiments or roam about. I would enjoy collecting and analyzing things like in biology, looking through microscopes and things like that. Well I would like to make enough money that I can support myself and maybe my family and also have money to spare for vacations and such. I might do a job that I dislike just to get money.

           

            I have a ton of goals I have to set for myself before I’m ever going to be able to succeed. First of all I need to stop procrastinating so much that I end up staying up the whole night just to do something that could have been finished easily. I need to start working harder and apply myself to my classes and raise my grades or I'll end up failing everything and never achieve the goals I set for myself. I need to start looking for opportunities to help raise my importance to universities. I have to find more things to do than sit at home and do nothing, find a job, volunteer a lot, find some more hobbies and just go out there and do everything I can so that when I get out of high school I’ll at least be partially prepared and maybe even get accepted to the college of my choice and to make a living for myself.

[RE] Unexpected

Think you know everything about someone? Think again; people will surprise you. There are so many possible things that can occur during someone’s lifetime. We do not know everything about this person; we only know what this person chooses to tell us. -Brenda Trieu     

I agree that it is very difficult to know everything about someone. No matter whom it is, whether it’s your parents, your best friend or your lover. Like one of my favorite actors, Hugh Laurie said, everyone lies. It’s just the way we are as humans. It is a part of us, we can never stop lying and we cannot not lie.

                A person may be very outspoken, very comfortable talking about everything and anything, but they will lie sooner or later. There are just some things that you never ever want to talk about. We are humans, every human, no matter who or where they are have their faults.  

I basically agree with everything Andrew Zhao said. It is surprising that although our species is very social, we can still lie and keep secrets from one another. I cannot imagine a world where people don't lie or have no secrets. Just try imagining that, an alternate universe where everyone tells the truth, and has no secrets. There probably wouldn't be any sort of weapons at all, well "secret armaments" or "nuclear threats". There would be no secret service, no mysteries at all. Everything would be different from our world. Politicians would not be as convincing or powerful and I don't know if the world would be more peaceful without lies and secrets or more chaotic.