This is a response to my own post, and yes it is an essay I
wrote for Current Life. I used to have some sort of idea of what I wanted to do
with my life. What I wanted to be, where I would see myself. I don't really see
my future as clearly as I'd like to though. Even though I wrote this essay less
than a year ago, my interests changed way too fast. There are still some things that I would
still like to do, like get into a good college- college of my choice and I'm
not sure about whether or not I would live in a city, I don't think that I'm
the kind of person to feel comfortable around so many people and noises. I do
know for a fact that making enough money is important to me, enough money to
pay off expenses, but also have extra for my own personal use.
My goals...my stupid ass goals. I don't think I have even
achieved one of them. I still procrastinate so much in addition to senioritis.
I haven't even been trying to work harder at anything at all. My grades are
shitty as hell and I'm probably going to get bad grades. The funny thing is I
was never really bothered by grades like other people. However, now that I'm a
senior and all this crap has been piled on me, all the information and stuff
telling me what I need to do and what is recommended I do has gotten me so god
damn frustrated. I know I'm not going to get into a good college compared to
all my other friends since all of them were already and stressing over grades
all four years of high school. I just feel like shit when I think of all the
wasted time I didn't spend wisely. It just really makes me frustrated and all I
want to do is beat the shit out of something sometimes. It just makes me so god
damn sad. -Sigh-
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