[Free] Thoughts #1

You know I thought that maybe this year would be different. Different from all the other years before. Something special, out of the ordinary compared to freshman, sophomore, and junior year, as a senior. In the years preceding my final year at Alameda High, there was always something that went wrong. This year is no better. When I was an underclassman, I didn't feel very close to people. Like I would see people talking and smiling and shit. I thought maybe it would be different senior year and I vowed to myself that I would try harder to be more sociable.

That didn't do anything... I seriously tried to be more talkative and more friendly- or I hope I did. That was a big waste of my time because some of my friends have been kind of distant from me. I hate how I try and try and try to at least talk to someone but then they like totally ignore me. It's like I'm the only one trying to make friendly conversation, but it's like I'm talking to a block of stone. Maybe I'm wrong, and I'm just boring to that person. Maybe that's why. I don't know though, I remember when this person and I talked, and they seemed to actually try to carry the conversation. Now it's just like whenever I talk to them, they just kind of end the conversation with like "Uh-huh" and "Yes" and "No". It seems like some of the friends I used to talk to moderately, or a lot suddenly just stopped talking to me, block all types of communications with me, and generally just tries to avoid me unless they need something. Why do people have to be like this, ending the friendship, which might not have existed, and not even telling me why or what I did? It just kind of hurts you know?